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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Dallas County inmates to be denied ketchup and mayonnaise

By Pegasus News wire

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A side effect of this move is that the number of staged accidents by inmates will go way down.

A side effect of this move is that the number of staged accidents by inmates will go way down.

In an effort to cut costs, Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez is hitting her inmates at the county jail where it hurts the most: their love of condiments. Inmates will no longer receive free condiments like ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, artificial sweeteners and jelly, a move that will supposedly save around $150,000. Taking away free pickles alone saves around $83,000. Such items will still be available to inmates -- they'll just have to buy them at the commissary now.

"Brother, I've been jonesing for some Heinz -- I'll trade you two packs of cigarettes for a couple of packets of that sweet ketchup."

Posted by Alex B.

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Comments

Scott Anonymous

Doesn't this raise Eighth Amendment issues?

4 weeks, 1 day ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

jtmbls

jtmbls Anonymous

It's certainly unusual...

4 weeks, 1 day ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Collin Gouldin

Collin Gouldin Verified

Schools have been doing this for a long time. I remember each packet being $0.10

4 weeks, 1 day ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Scott Doyle

Scott Doyle Verified

I'm presuming Scott (anonymous) is joking. Can't see sarcasm on the interwebs. =(

4 weeks, 1 day ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Andrew

Andrew Anonymous

You were charged for condiments at school because you were there to be punished. :)

Actually, I hope the County starts advertising this as a deterent. A billboard of a guy in a jumpsuit eating a dry hot dog may be the push we need in reducing jail overcrowding. We need to change a few other things. Change the weightroom into a pilates class and start making them wear pink jumpsuits. The orange ones makes them look like deejayceepee understudies anyway.

4 weeks, 1 day ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Jason Rice

Jason Rice Verified

Liking the "Yoga will scare 'em straight" idea.

A LOT. Yeah, explain to your homeys that the lotus is actually not your favorite asana for centering and focus ... and let natural selection do the heavy lifting for us.

Like it lots. Pilates names are even lamer.

I vote "Andrew for King" (for a day)

4 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

John McClelland

John McClelland Verified

Let them eat cake! But no condiments.

3 weeks, 6 days ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

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